Learning How to Eat

I don't know how to eat.

I realize this may come as a surprise to many of you as I talk about eating on a regular basis. Technically speaking, I do know what to eat, just not how to eat it. Basically what I'm getting at is that my dining etiquette isn't as good as it should be.

Unfortunately this creates a bit of a problem as I often find myself in situations where I'm eating in front of other people. How do you hold a knife and cut? Which glass is mine? Which way does the bread get passed? Can I take more than one piece of bread?

These burning questions and the addition of my "motivating" wife led me to hire an Etiquette Coach. I didn't want to go to Etiquette School with a bunch of 16 year olds so my search took quite some time, however after a few plunges into Google search results I found Patricia Rossi, an Etiquette and Protocol Coach. Her program was exactly what I was looking for: a one time 1.5 hour session at Capitol Grille for $95. That's right, a complete lunch at Capitol Grille and etiquette training for only $95, in my opinion a pretty sweet deal.

I suppose all things considered, I should have been nervous about having lunch with an etiquette coach but I wasn't. Realistically, I was paying her to tell me how dumb I am so I was hoping that I would mess up a few times.

Capitol Grille is an interesting restaurant and wasn't what I was expecting at all. The interior design is a reflection of a Country Club up north, complete with deer heads hanging on the walls and portraits of old men. To be honest I wasn't a huge fan, however the food made up for it.

The first step of learning how to eat involved knowing where all of the utensils go on the table, which ones are yours and which ones to use first (work outside in). Then the hardest part of all... we practiced cutting. Please note at this time we didn't have any food yet.....we were cutting imaginary food. However with my imaginary food I learned that you aren't suppose to "saw" at your food and you're suppose to eat with your left hand (if your right handed).

Once we finished practicing on imaginary food, our server brought out the most delectable French Onion soup I have ever tasted. But, how do you eat French Onion soup properly? You're suppose to cut the large crouton using your spoon on the side of the bowl and then to take a bite.

The saddest part about getting etiquette training is that you're not there to eat. What I really wanted to do when I saw the bowl of French Onion soup was to dip my head right in and enjoy, however instead I had to properly cut and then taste every bite.

Moving along Capitol Grille next served a perfectly grilled 8oz fillet with a side of mashed potatoes. The fillet was so tender and juicy I could have cut it with my fork and eaten it the way I really wanted to. However, per Patricia Rossi's guidance I had to eat the proper way and use my knife and fork as they are supposed to be used. While at first I didn't enjoy this, it did make me slow down and actually savor the food I was eating.

Capitol Grille prepares a phenomenal steak, their amazing food complimented by their world class service made this one of my all time favorite dining experiences. They anticipate your needs, exceed your expectations and their servers are wildly intelligent.

At the end of my experience I left with a full stomach and a full mind. Test me, I dare you. Sure I dropped my fork a couple of times and I took more free bread than I was supposed to, but now for the first time I actually know how to eat like a gentleman.

So be on the look out, next time you see me I'll be the classy guy using his knife and fork the right way and drinking his beverage without a straw.

Jealous?