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Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Wanted: Friendly Server

When it comes to the "blogging world" I don't usually get involved in offering my thoughts on other people's blog posts, after all we're all entitled to our opinion.

However, after recently reading this post about "restaurant bonding" I feel the need to share my opinion and ask you what you think as well.

Ami, the author of the post writes about her frustration because of "friendly" restaurant service. Throughout her idiotic complaining she shares that servers who sit down in booths, kneel to take the order and "announce that they are taking care of the table" annoy her and make her feel uncomfortable.

Apparently she has even gone as far to try and block servers from sitting down by putting her jacket on the booth. She continues to share that servers' jobs are "just to bring the food", not to befriend her and create a bond.

Here is the most disheartening part: there are 94 comments on the post, all of which agree with her saying that friendly service is uncomfortable.

Am I insane or has something dramatically changed in society without me noticing?

Last time I checked people WANT friendly service. We WANT someone who cares, who takes the time to acknowledge our existence, who REMEMBERS what we want.

We DON'T want a lifeless "order taker" who can't do anything aside from writing our order down and delivering it to our table.

The server owns the entire restaurant experience. Sure the food has to be good but unless the service is remarkable the whole dining experience suffers. Why the heck would I want to be served by someone who doesn't care about their job or their customers? Why would I want someone who was unfriendly and miserable?

Personally I want the server to become my friend. If the server becomes my friend and becomes part of my experience it only results in one thing: BETTER SERVICE.

So you tell me: do you want friendly service? Do you want a server who will sit down in the booth or kneel to take your order? Or, would you prefer a lifeless drone who writes down your order and brings your food to you?

Posted by Dan Holm at 9:43 PM
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9 comments:

  1. I would think a person would want a drone server if they were extremely shy or maybe just a bitch (for lack of a better word). I actually like friendly and funny servers who like to get into the dining experience. My favorite servers are the goofy outgoing ones. You can actually have a conversation with them, but then when they leave you also have the opportunity to laugh at their mannerisms.
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  2. I agree with you about wanting friendly service, but there's a difference between being friendly and going over the top with it, to the point that it seems forced and fake. I would rather have a genuine warm greeting and interaction with a server than having them all follow the same script that someone in corporate decided on. And sorry, I love to chat with a server, but please don't sit down next to me. That's going too far!
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  3. i love it when the servers are nice. When they sit down and just try to be more like friend than someone who is being forced to work. To me it makes it easier to ask them for somthing if the food isn't exactly right. I understand how sitting down could be uncomfortable but kneeling i don't think would be a problem..I guess you solved why there are still mindless drones working at places because of people like Ami and the 94 comment-ers below her.
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  4. You said: Do you want a server who will sit down in the booth or kneel to take your order? Or, would you prefer a lifeless drone who writes down your order and brings your food to you?

    Why do these things have to be mutually exclusive? Can't I get a server who is warm and friendly AND respectful of my personal space? The kneeling I don't mind so much, especially when it's loud, but when a server "joins" us I feel like I'm being handled. Especially since I know that the servers were told by some manager or executive that "it's what people like."

    Now if there's a place where we're regulars and get to know a particular server, that's more like an ongoing relationship. If you know me enough to ask my how my job is going or how my kids are, then have a seat.
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  5. I agree it has to be a healthy mix.

    The bottom line is - it's about having a server who "loves" their job and wants to take care of you.

    Sure the kneeling/sitting might be a nice touch however the real desire I think from all customers is to have an engaging, friendly, authentic experience every time they eat out.

    This kind of experience doesn't come from the food - the server owns it. If customers want an experience that is lifeless than they should start visiting more fast food restaurants.
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  6. Wow, she's retarded.

    A lot of my food reviews that are positive are positive BECAUSE of friendly service. It's more than just the taste and presentation of food for me when I got out to a place to eat. I have to feel comfortable in the atmosphere. I have to like the person who brings me the food and drinks. I'm a pretty anxious person all around, so if someone is taking the time and energy to make my customer service experience a good one, I appreciate it.
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  7. Having served my way through high school and college, and being a part-time server now (in addition to my full-time job), I can say every table is definitely different. Generally speaking, I can feel a table out. You can almost always tell the ones who would rather not make conversation, and on more than one occasion I have guessed wrong and my tip has suffered. I never sit down with a customer unless I know them…but I do sometimes kneel, for two reasons: one, so I can actually hear you when you order, and two, so I can look you in the eye when I speak to you. The place I work is very small and intimate, and I like to think people come to us for our service and atmosphere. Reading the comments on the other blog really got me thinking, though, about the way I behave when I serve. One person actually complained about being asked how everything was tasting a few minutes into eating. I always do this, because some people are shy about complaining and will only do so if given the chance, but may actually be very unhappy with their meal. Would you rather I wait until you were done eating to ask how everything was? Other people complained about being asked how they were, or when the staff sings Happy Birthday (which I personally LOVE and restaurants hardly do anymore). I think if you just want to have your food cooked for you but don’t want to have any actual interaction, go to a fast-casual place like Chipotle, Panera, etc., and save the sit-down restaurants for those of us who don’t mind connecting with another human being. I don’t think I need to be a server’s best friend, but I still think being “taken care of” is part of the experience.

    My fiance was recently laid off, and got a job at Steak and Shake while he tries to get something more permenant. He is a very outgoing person, and he’s not doing very well tip-wise at Steak and Shake for the exact reasons brought up by the commentors in the other blog…I think he just comes on a little too strong for the patrons of that particular establishment. We’re trying to find him a serving job somewhere else, where people actually appreciate good service.
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  8. I just have to chime in again...Heather is exactly right about "reading" your customers and deciding what level of interaction they would like. I guess my main problem is when restaurants tell their servers to follow the same kind of "script" instead of training them to read social clues from the customer as to what they would like. I've waited tables, hostessed, managed, bartended, even done hotel reception work, and the most important thing you can do is try to figure out how to handle each customer. If I'm with friends, I might like a server to talk, joke around, and have a few laughs with, but if I'm having an anniversary dinner with my husband (or a serious conversation, or a business meeting) I would prefer a more "hands off" approach. So I think what this boils down to is maybe the restaurants themselves should spend some time working with the servers to help them understand how to tell what makes different people comfortable, rather than saying "this is how you have to behave with everyone."
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  9. I do agree that a server should be genuine and friendly, however most people are uncomfortable with their server inviting themselves to sit with them for any reason.(Over 95% don't like the practice!) Being in the marketing and service industry I have done many surveys and most people go out to a restuarant to be served by a professional person who is friendly and performs their duties without interfering with customers privacy and space. Also most women do not want an overly friend female server sitting with or touching their male companion and the same is true for men. They do not a want a male server sitting with or touching their female companion. Most people do not want anyone invading their space. Stooping down or kneeling is acceptable if there is a lot of noise and is done in a manner that doesn't imply that you are getting "down to someone else level" That can be taken as an insult by some people. A female server should never sit down next to or across from a single male diner, it is very inappropriate and is viewed as a bit sleazy by other customers. Most diners appreciate a server who looks busy and efficient while being friendly. Sitting down with the customer looks like either the server needs a break or they are just visiting with friends who came in and they don't look at all efficient or professional.
    Some marketing person started this "sitting with customer" trend a few years ago because they thought that it would make their establishment look less formal. It really has backfired and that same chain lost millions last year. While everyone wants good service and a friendly face, very few really want the inerruption of their server taking a seat with them or invading their private space. A few local restauarnts here and there thought that since this large chain is doing it they should too. Big mistake. More complaints are generated from this practice than anything else. Most diners just go elsewhere.
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