"We Don't Serve Bagels Like This!"

The journey of a bagel from the rack to the bag can be an interesting one.

First, since when did making a bagel become so complex? It use to be simple. I want a plain bagel with plain cream cheese. Why? Because that was the only option. Now there is a bagel for every flavor in the universe - the Everything bagel (what does that even mean?). Beyond that, did you know that Dunkin Donuts has Salmon Cream Cheese? That's what I want, fish smeared all over my toasted bagel. They also serve bagels as sandwiches and with eggs, sausage, ham, and cheese on this miracle bakery creation.

I suppose in theory, that's why the "bagel shop" barely exists anymore. Corporate chains like Dunkin, Panera and Einstein wiped out the rest of the independents because of their ability to offer more variety at a better price with faster service.

On a recent visit to Dunkin Donuts my wife ordered (as always) a plain bagel toasted with plain cream cheese and five munchkins. You can't get any more original and simple then this.

We pull up to the drive through window and pay, get handed our munckins, which we begin eating as we wait for our bagel. We wait, and wait and wait and before we know it, our munchkins are gone....still no bagel. Remember this is a plain bagel toasted with plain cream cheese....

Bagel hand off. We are on our way to Target.

In the Target parking lot, my wife opens up her delicious, hot, plain bagel with plain cream cheese...with a chunk cut out of it.

Chains like Dunkin Donuts, Panera and Einstein I believe have a bagel slicing machine. It takes about 3 seconds and the bagel cuts itself. It didn't today. It appeared that the lower corner was cut off on some type of slant. After a few seconds of staring at the mangled bagel with a smudge of cream cheese in an awkward corner, we decided to go back.

We walked inside and my wife took the bagel to the counter and showed the Dunkin employees what we had just been served. One employee was horrified and picked up the bagel and took it to the back bagel making area and raised it up and said, "Who. Did. This?!" Of course, no one confessed. The employee continued, "We don't serve bagels like this!!”

In a few minutes, we were served a fresh, hot, properly sliced plain bagel with plenty of plain cream cheese.

Dunkin Donuts did a few things right:

- They admitted they were wrong.
- They made us feel like we were bagel experts.
- They fixed the problem.

We were already die hard Dunkin Donuts bagel fans, but now we are committed for life.

Pei Wei: Better Than Free Chinese Food at the Mall

I used to hate Asian food. My parents would order Chinese from this dump down the street. I always thought it smelled like garbage.

Then I started "sampling" the free Asian food in different malls. "Orange chicken! Kung pow chicken!" I still was never bold enough to pay for it. Why pay when you can walk up and down the food court twice and get a free meal?!

About two months ago I discovered Pei Wei Asian Diner. I was forced into going there by friends at work. Knowing that I could either get decent free Asian food at the mall, I wasn't too interested in paying $7 for this "Asian Diner".

When I first walked in, I was blown away by the upscale decor of the restaurant. It was classy Asian, with bold colors and dark woods, I felt like I had walked into a restaurant that served entrees' priced way higher than $7.

The serving style is simple, yet extremely effective. Pei Wei takes it a step farther than most fast casual restaurants and will actually bring your order to you when it's ready. (This is something we only dream Panera would do...)

The beauty in Pei Wei is the open air kitchen where you can hear, see, and smell your food being prepared with all of the theatre that Asian food should be prepared with. Your entree is served on bold red china with a real glass (no styrofoam) and silverware.

Did I mention that the food is amazing? This is from a guy who swore he would never actually enjoy paying and eating Asian food. It tastes the way you always hoped Asian food at the mall would taste.

Leave the mall, find a Pei Wei. Stop sampling - start paying.

You won't be disappointed.

Starbucks: Now Served in Your Hand

If you're going to pay $4.50 for a drink a Starbucks, you most likely would like the drink to stay in the cup, not in your hand.

On a recent visit to our local Starbucks, my wife and I ordered drinks and sat down at a table. A few moments later we watched as a guy walked up to the counter and grabbed a grande cup (he had ordered a tall) and quickly explained that his cup was leaking.

A few more minutes went by and we watched as two women walked up to the counter and complained that their tall cups were leaking. The barista, offered with a grande cup and then turned to help the next customer.

At this point, my wife and I were getting ready to leave, but we had to stay and see if it was going to happen again...

Sure enough, not five minutes had passed and another pair of women return to the counter with leaking tall cups.

I was annoyed on behalf of these people as I watched them sit at the table across the room and try to pour their hot drinks into bigger cups without spilling any. Is this the Starbucks Experience? Pay for overpriced espresso made right into your hand! Sounds good to me.

I had to see for myself why the cups were leaking so...I stole three tall cups to conduct my own experiment. Much to my dismay my magic touch didn't change anything and my cups leaked at home.

First Watch: The Anti Diner

Everyone has visited a run down crappy diner or a "family restaurant" at least once. Maybe you even go on a weekly basis because you think there isn't anything else better out there....you're satisfied with 20 year old decor and food prepared by a short order cook.

Say good bye to Denny's, IHOP, Perkins, Shoney's, Village Inn and Bob Evans. Say hello to First Watch.

This day time "cafe" is revolutionary in it's approach to serving breakfast and lunch in a comfortable and casual environment. Walk in to vibrant colors, fresh food and unbeatable service. Welcome to the anti diner.

First Watch is better because the food actually tastes good and it's craveable. Let's talk Tri-fecta: A light and airy, made-to-order Belgian waffle, with two eggs, cooked any way you like and your choice of thick-sliced bacon, turkey sausage or sausage links. All comes with potatoes and toast for under...$6.00. Why don't you eat here everyday?

First Watch has positioned themselves to compete directly against the IHOPs of the world while fighting the grain on everything America has come to know as "breakfast". Long gone are the days of sticky booth seats, dim lighting and syrup smudges on the edges of the table. This "third place" has packaged perfectly the ultimate breakfast or lunch experience. With unique menu offerings, concentrated service and free Wi Fi internet access, how can you go anywhere else?

First Watch delivers what every other diner/"family restaurant" wishes they could.

The Bottom of the Blizzard

Everyone loves Dairy Queen Blizzards. No one loves the bottom.

First, the ice cream is runny and melted. Second there are no candy chunks on the bottom.

Personally I am a Reese's blizzard man, and I enjoy the entire delicious treat until I reach 75% down and realize that the candy stops there. Now I have runny ice cream with no candy chunk. Lucky for me, my wife for some unknown reason loves the bottom with just the plain ice cream, her rationale is beyond me.

If you know how to eat, you most likely will try to save the best part of your meal for last. This is virtually impossible when eating a DQ Blizzard. The best part of the dessert is on the top, and there is no way to get to the bottom first unless you attempt to flip the bottom on the top.

Don't be tricked by this picture. You know what the bottom looks like...

How difficult could it possibly be for the DQ staff to put the candy chunks on the bottom, before adding the ice cream and on top?! Then the Blizzard can be mixed to perfection in every bite. This seems like a reasonable solution to the candy chunkless epidemic that has been sweeping the nation since the Blizzard's conception.

If the DQ staff can do the fancy upside down Blizzard trick before they serve it to you, can they please just add extra candy chunk in too?

I wish I could boycott the bottom of the Blizzard. But, as we all know and my wife just pointed out to me, I'm never actually going to NOT eat the bottom of the Blizzard.

Beyond the Burrito

Is your regular burrito at Chipotle getting you down? Looking for a change? Feel like saving a few bucks?

Lucky for you Chipotle has a whole other menu they haven't even told you about.

Some call it the secret menu. I call it - Beyond the Burrito.

Let me give you the breakdown on all of the Chipotle menu items you are missing out on:

1. The New Line

Quite possibly the most advanced beyond the burrito menu item that Chipotle offers. Only a few true fans have the knowledge and skill to pull this off.

If you only get 4 total items in your burrito or bowl you could be saving yourself $2 every time you visit Chipotle.

You pick 4 items, such as: rice, meat, cheese, lettuce and you have yourself a "new line item". Be sure to tell the cashier with confidence that it's a "new line" and they will ring you up for just over $4. Be warned, the tortilla counts as one of the items.

2. Two Side Items

If you don't want to take full advantage of the amazing ingredients Chipotle has to offer, then you may qualify to be the two side items guy.

If you get a bowl with just rice, lettuce and cheese you don't even qualify for a "new line" you have now entered "two side items" world. Here you will only pay about $3. It doesn't get any better than that.

3. Quesadilla for me

Let me guess. You haven't tried Chipotle yet because you're obsessed with the quesadillas at Moe's. Bad call.

The Chipotle quesadilla puts Moe's to shame. You can get any combination of ingredients you want and you can order it in the big burrito shell or small taco shells. When you walk up to order say: Chicken Quesadilla. They won't look at you strange or try to kick you out.

4. One Taco, Two Taco, Three Taco

If you're only in the mood for one taco, it will cost you about $1.25. Don't feel obligated to take the menu on the wall as the final answer. You have the ability to be flexible with the item you order and the price.

After this short overview, you should be able to visit Chipotle with authority knowing that you hold the secrets to a world of non menu items that taste amazing and save you money.

Live Beyond the Burrito.

Text for Pizza

Remeber when Pizza Hut, actually used to be a hut?

We used to go there for Kid's night on Tuesdays and participate in the "Book-It" program. Maybe some of you remember that, maybe not.

I can't remember the last time I saw a free standing Pizza Hut, now it's solely a delivery service with complete ordering via text message. Pizza Hut, has lead the pizza industry in updating their brand to be relevant in today's market and has made technological advances to ensure they are delivering what their customer is asking for.

The pizza experience has taken an interesting journey, below I outline the evolution of ordering your favorite pizza:

1. Walk in, sit down, enjoy.
2. Call your order in, go pick up.
3. Call your order in, demand delivery.
4. Place your order online, don't worry you don't have to talk to anyone.
5. Text your order in, while surfing the web, talking on the phone, reading a book, watching TV, chatting online, checking facebook, and texting someone else at the same time.

With this watered down experience, is the pizza still as good as it was before? In a way I might miss going in and eating, but for the most part, I'm not too involved with the pizza delivery boy, or the employee that answers the phone by putting me on hold.

If I have to order pizza from Pizza Hut, I would much rather text my order in. I wish the independent real pizza joints had the same technology. I would be texting for pizza at every meal.

The Munchkin

The missing "hole" of a Dunkin Donut, also known as a Munchkin is quite possibly the best invention known to the doughnut eating world.

The origins are unknown, however we can trace the birth of the doughnut hole to sometime after 1847 following the invention of the doughnut by American Hansen Gregory.

Of all of the donut holes out there, Dunkin Donuts Munchkin is by far the best. With a variety of flavors and reasonably priced you can't go wrong with this bite size doughnut from heaven.


The tiny box these little Muchkins come in, just make you want to eat them more because they travel in a cute little carrier. Don't worry if you eat 5 or 6 that's still only about 1 doughnut. No big deal.

What is it about these tiny creations that keep us reaching in the box for just one more?! Is it the design? The name? Or just the fact that you have to try every single flavor before you're satisfied? Just like a good bag of potato chips, Munchkins are hard to resist. I'm going to guess that every time someone brings a box into a densely crowded area, you fight your way to get your hand in the box.

Krispy Kreme tried to capture the magic of the Munchkin, but in my opinion, failed miserably. They couldn't get the texture or taste right. Dunkin knows all about these little guys and creates them with perfection every time.

Next time you feel like eating big - think small.

The Ice Cream of the Future

Do you remember the Ice Cream of the Future?

In the 90s, Dippin' Dots changed the way we all viewed ice cream. Instead of creamy scoops of flavored ice cream, we had tiny separated balls of flavor. Revolutionary.When is the last time you had it? Even today, years after Dippin' Dots hit the market it still seems like a rare jewel that people don't know about. Try finding a free standing Dippin' Dots store, the only locations I have seen are tiny mobile carts in the middle of a mall.

Dippin' Dots remains to be this cult like phenomenon that continues to draw consumers as soon as they see the tiny balls of ice cream. Once you come across it, you feel obligated to buy it because you don't know when you're going to have it again, and you will pay a premium price for that unique taste experience. At $5.50 for a large, this is the Starbucks of ice cream.

Since its conception in 1988, Dippin' Dots has done little to change their menu, or update their brand. They know what they serve is amazing, and nothing else compares to it. Just recently they began promoting sundaes, cakes and a wider variety of flavors and combinations.

Their remarkable product has led to other knock off brands such as Molli Coolz attempting to steal market share by packaging "incredible ice cream beads" and selling it in the grocery store. If you're after the real thing you can order online and have 30 servings sent right to your home for just $135.

Welcome to the future.

Champp's Touch Free Hygiene

Who knew that waving your hand in the bathroom could deliver so many results.

Wave your hand in most public bathrooms and you get: automatic faucets, automatic soap, automatic paper towels and just for standing/sitting - automatic flush.

Now the wave has been taken a step further to automatic doors. On a recent visit to Champp's restaurant in Tampa after using the bathroom I was amazed that I could wave my hand in front of a pad on the wall and the bathroom door automatically opened.

The only problem with this touch free hygiene door was that the rest of the bathroom was manual. I had to manually flush, wash and dry before waving my germ filled hand in font of the pad.

Did Champp's do this backwards? Why would you install an expensive touch free door if your guests have to touch the paper towel dispenser anyway!?! It doesn't seem to make much sense. Sure this is a nice way to make the bathroom exit, I am one who has been known to use an elbow to leave the bathroom, but that was in a bathroom that had all automatic hygiene products.

Sanidoor could be the next step in complete touch free bathroom hygiene, but before you start waving make sure everything else in the bathroom is hands free too.

Panera's Pager Line

Casual dining restaurants have known about it for years. Panera Bread just discovered it.

The Pager

Enter Panera with confidence knowing that you won't have to stand in that awkward area where everyone crowds around the food counter like cattle waiting for their meal to be ready. Panera now takes your name and hands you a pager. The only problem is, everyone is still crowding around the food counter waiting in line and holding their pager!!

I was unsure if the customers didn't understand the purpose of the pager, or if they were afraid that someone might take their food if they weren't standing there to guard it. The concept of the pager is that you take it and can get told when your food is ready from anywhere in the restaurant.

The overlaying problem at Panera has always been too many people in a very small space. From the moment you walk in the confusion begins as guests try to determine where the line actually starts and ends. I have discovered the best tactic is to just go right up to the Panera employee to order - start your own line. The crowd behind you will follow your lead.

After you struggle through the mass of people trying to order, take your pager and try to avoid the line of people waiting at the food counter. Now head on over to the miniature drink station and elbow everyone else as you try to get ice from the machine.

Panera could solve a few of their problems, if they could execute the pager system properly. It would work if the Panera employee simply said: "Here is a pager, feel free to find a seat and we will page you when your meal is ready."

Applebee's: Fallen too far from the tree

Last Saturday night, we didn't feel like going out. A $50 Applebee's gift card came to the rescue.

My last experiences at Applebee's haven't been that phenomenal, so we were hesitant to go and eat in the actual restaurant....take out seemed like a safer option.

Who knew that a $50 gift card could go so far. Four appetizers later, we still had more than enough money to leave a tip. To our surprise, the service was good, the food was hot and flavorful and I am tempted to go back and get the chicken quesadillas again!

The only part that I could have done without was a short visit to their new website to get a menu, where I was greeted by the new Applebee's "spokesapple". It appears that Applebee's is no longer eating good in the neighborhood, but now a restaurant represented by a fruit with attitude.

I hope I'm not the only one who thinks the new commercials featuring the spokesapple are a bit....off. It might just be me, but it's odd to see an apple with no mouth talking to someone about where they should go to eat dinner. We already have a lizard talking about insurance, I don't think we need to hear the expert opinion of a juicy red fruit.


In a press release issued by Applebee's dated this past September, they explain their reason for rebranding is to target consumers who are eager to build connections again around the dinner table. Applebee's is aligning their position to offer "a third place" where friends can come together. It is difficult to determine if this objective is sold through the use of a talking apple. I believe they could have been more succesful by capitalizing on a format that focuses on the human connection that is achieved while eating dinner. Instead of an apple telling us why it's important, Applebee's needs to show us. In addition to their new spokesapple, they also have updated their logo to be more "sophisticated", although in reality it just appears to be more standard, plane and lifeless.

It will be interesting to see if the rebranding of Appleebee's takes off, from my initial reaction I think this one may have fallen to far from the tree.

7-11's Grilling Magic

Does the food on "the grill" at 7-11 make any one else a little uncomfortable?

Who knew that food for every meal of the day could be cooked and prepared on a table top electric grill with spinning metal rails. As if by magic, 7-11 can cook anything on this tiny little miracle of a grill.

From jumbo hot dogs, breakfast sausage, cheese meat sticks, and lunch burritos, 7-11 has you covered. I suppose the scariest part of the food they sell is that people actually buy it. Every time I'm in 7-11 there is someone buying breakfast burritos. A breakfast of champions.

Don't forget the condiments. This special section set aside just for you allows any topping you can imagine to be squeezed out of a pump onto your new tasty treat. Who hasn't walked by this area of 7-11 to see gobs of liquid cheese piled up on the safety grate?


Who is buying all of these mouth watering pieces of meat that is motivating 7-11 to continue to make them?

I have an awkward confession: I have had a jumbo hot dog from 7-11 in Lakeland. It only happened once, but it was good.

Bringing Starbucks Back To Life

Do you remember the first time you had Starbucks?

I do. It was a like tasting a piece of coffee heaven.

Espresso? Steamed milk? Who would have thought that something so simple and pure could be so amazing. Holding the cup of Starbucks coffee had an overwhelming feeling of pride and sophistication. The Baristas knew my name, my drink and made it to perfection every day I went in.

Then, I started to notice that everyone was drinking it, including 11 year old kids. Why does an 11 year old need a $4.50 cup of coffee?

Not only that, but my drink started coming out wrong. The milk was burnt, or not hot enough. They no longer took my name when I paid and the bathroom was dirty. It just, wasn't the same. My phenomenal drink and experience was now just mediocre. I stopped going every day, and would stop by once a week, then once a month, then not at all.

I don't think I was the only one who stopped going.

Suddenly, McDonald's Ice Coffee was cheap and really good. So was Dunkin' Donuts. I could get the same experience for half the price.

Starbucks is finally noticing. This week it was announce that Howard Schultz will be taking over as CEO again to turn the company around, in an open letter to his customers on Starbucks.com he discusses his original vision and how he will bring the brand back to life. Read it here: www.starbucks.com

I believe he can do it.

First, make drinks consistently good like you did years ago. Second, make your Barista's human and talkative again. Third, give me something new and different - a drink I can't get anywhere else.

If you can accomplish this - I'll be in line.

Olive(less) Garden

I'm not a huge olive fan.

But, I do like black olives in my bottomless salad from Olive Garden. I guess it's like having chicken at Chick Fil A or a burger from Burger King.

At a recent visit to Olive Garden, our salad came out a little naked....without any olives. How is this possible? Who would have thought a national successful chain could run out of their most famous item.

Earl of "Slow" Sandwich

I can make a good sandwich in about 10 minutes.

Earl of Sandwich takes almost a century crafting their work of sandwich art.

You get a good taste of the looming service disaster when you first enter the store. They have intelligently designed their service system into a three line waiting period.

Upon you're arrival you are instructed to walk to the opposite end of the dining room to get in line to place you're order. Estimated wait time: 5 minutes.

After you confuse the server with your order you then proceed to a line to wait to pay. Here you stand and watch the servers make the meals as you crawl along to the cash register. Estimated wait time: 10 minutes.

Congratulations, you have successfully made it through the second line. Now you can pay for your $8 sandwich. Take your receipt and order number and proceed to line three.

The third line, technically isn't a line, it's more of a waiting group of angry customers. Stand among the masses waiting for your "freshly heated sandwich" and listen closely for your order number to be called. Estimated wait time: 15 minutes.

30 minutes in the making, you now have your Earl of Sandwich. Try to find a place to sit in the dining room with only four tables.

The Chipotle Diet

Forget Jared and Subway.

Try Chipotle.

Many have discovered that Chipotle is the 8th wonder of the world, little do they know they can also eat at Chipotle to get healthy and loose weight.

First - All of Chipotle's meat is naturally raised. No chemicals, just the way God intended - all natural.

Second - It tastes freakin amazing.

On a recent visit to Chipotle, I ordered a burrito bowl with rice, chicken, medium salsa, cheese and lettuce.

Total calories: 589. Loose the rice: 349 calories.

For the first time you can eat the most amazing food on earth and not get fat. Welcome to heaven.

Go to http://www.chipotlefan.com/index.php?id=nutrition_calculator to calculate how much your Chipotle meal is.

Be warned, if you're the burrito guy with extra sour cream and two sides of guacamole you may not want to go this site. You will be horrified to discover that if you add all the extras your meal will be way over 1,000 calories.

If you can live without sour cream and guacamole and you can afford it - I recommend you eat at Chipotle every meal of every day.