Cookies & Kreme Doughnut Ecstasy

There are 4 words that I love hearing my wife say:

It's not, "I Love You Danny"

It's not, "Please Kiss Me Danny"

It's not, "I Need You Danny"

It's........."Let's Get Krispy Kreme"

When she utters these 4 magical words, my heart sings, my mind explodes, my ears fly and I start stttuteerring..."Rrreaaaally?"

Do you know what Heaven tastes like? I do. It's this.

She always says, "Yes".

Then, I don't ask any more questions. I don't stop to think. I immediately stop what I'm doing and go to Krispy Kreme. This craving she gets for Krispy Kreme has been known to only last for a few minutes, once the moment passes, all hope is gone. I have only one mission: Get us to Krispy Kreme, and get us there, Now.

This usually only happens on Saturday or Sunday afternoons, while both of our kids are asleep (I have no shame, I don't want to share my doughnut with them).

The magical occasion of a Krispy Kreme craving happened this past Sunday. When we go, we usually both get the same thing - creme filled doughnuts. I used to be a traditional good old fashion Krispy Kreme doughnut guy, but she changed me for the good.

This is how our Krispy Kreme Doughnut extravaganza works: I go in, I order, and then I bring the doughnuts back in the car and we eat while both the kids are sound asleep. They never even know we were there. Evil? Maybe. Genius? Yes.

This time it was a little different because in the window of Krispy Kreme  hung a picture of what is likely God's Gift to the Food World: The Cookies & Kreme Doughnut made with Oreos.

I don't usually go for the super sweet stuff (ok, maybe I'm lying). But Oreos and Doughnut Kreme together as one!?!?!? Perfection.

As I go rushing in to the store I ask the Krispy Kreme employee for a little reassurance, "The Oreo doughnut is good right?" She responds, "Yea, if you like Oreos." Silly me, I should have known that.

I have a weird infatuation with Oreos. As a young, plump child I used to stick the Double Stuff Oreo package in the freezer and eat them when they were ice cold - only Double Stuff though, get the amateur single stuff away from me. Why did I stick the Oreos in the freezer? Actually, I didn't, my Mom did. It all started because she would "hide" the Oreos from my brother and I (ok, mainly it was only me I was just trying to pass the blame). She thought the best hiding spot would be the freezer. At first, I would take them out behind her back and let them get to room temperature. But then, I didn't want to wait any longer so I just started pulling them out of the freezer and popping them right in my mouth......that was when the magic started and I fell in love.

Anyway, back to the doughnut.

Ah, the doughnut. The Krispy Kreme employee gently pulled the doughnut off the tray and put it in a little baggy for me. I paid and went back to the car where my wife was waiting. She said something, but I couldn't hear her, my mind was too focused on the urgent matters at hand: eating this doughnut.

I pulled the doughnut out of the baggy with grace and looked it over carefully. This was a work of art. Classic Krispy Kreme icing/kreme on top, then then topped off with chunks of broken Oreos and drizzled in kreme. My mouth watering, I took my first bite.......complete ecstasy. 

The kreme filling inside is made with Oreos. So imagine the kreme of the Oreo cookie, mixed with the cookie crumbs, mixed with doughnut kreme - that's heaven people. It came gushing out both sides as I bit in. It was perfectly sweet and satisfying......I can honestly say that if I had one meal left on earth....this would be it.

The special Oreo kreme + the icing on top + the Oreo cookie chunks + the kreme drizzle took me into another world. This may be one of the best things I have ever tasted (if you like Oreos, of course).

Upon my final, luxurious bite, I finally came back up for air and was able to speak to my wife again. I don't know what happened during the 2 minutes it took me to kill that doughnut but I'm pretty sure it was magic.

I suggest you experience the magical, kreme, Oreo delight as soon as you possibly can. I guarantee it will leave you totally speechless.

On Friday, June 3 Krispy Kreme is giving out Free Doughnuts in honor of National Doughnut Day. So this way you get total satisfaction AND it's free. Doesn't get any better than that. Details here.

Have Lemons? Make Frozen Strawberry Lemonade

I don't like lemonade.

We went through this weird faze with my kids where my daughter always wanted lemonade. Due to the intense demand of lemonade needed I decided not to buy a lemonade machine and fresh squeeze the lemons myself (I assume you understand).


So, we opted for the Crystal Light powder packs which we would stir up in a jug and give to her in her juice cup. She loved it. I hated it.

The weird powder would collect on the bottom of the jug and if I (being the lazy man that I am) didn't stir it up enough it would clump together too.

But the worst part of all was having to poor the old lemonade from her juice cup down the drain. By the end of the day it got fairly warm and the smell of powdery lemons was nicely baked in. Opening up the sealed, spill proof, indestructible cup resulted a rush of hot lemon steam hitting me right in the face {sick}. As quickly as I could, I would dump the hot powder lemonade down the sink and deep clean the juice cup as fast as my hands could move (I've found that hot apple juice in a sealed cup has a similar nausea creating effect).

After a few months of fighting with lemonade every day I made the decision (which my wife appreciated) to move away from powder lemonade and just stick with bottled juice from the store.

Unfortunately the powder lemonade made me a changed man and I haven't been able to look lemonade square in the eye since then. 

When McDonald's came out with their new Frozen Strawberry Lemonade (for just $1.59) it was the first time I'd even given lemonade a second look in years.

It usually seemed that Frozen Strawberry Lemonade (or Frozen Lemonade in general) was reserved for special occasions....like the Fair, an Amusement Park, Concert, etc. In all of these environments you need Frozen Lemonade because you're sweating your butt off and the idea of a frozen beverage is like a fantasy come true (which is why they charge you like $9 for it).

So.....when I'm driving by McDonald's, I'm not sweating. I'm not hot. The air conditioning is on. Why do I need a Frozen Strawberry Lemonade? Um.....cause it looks good and it cost me less than 2 bucks?

My urges overwhelm me and I pull into the McDonald's drive thru, "1 Frozen Strawberry Lemonade please."

I go through, I pay, I drink, I smile.

Damn you McDonald's and your genius marketing product development people. Why are you always creating stuff that's so delicious and so affordable? Why do you keep giving me stuff I don't know I want when really I secretly want it?

WHY!?!?!?

Don't get me wrong. I still don't like lemonade. But the Frozen Strawberry Lemonade is really remarkable at a really good price. It's not too sweet and not too tart. It's a nice slushy consistency so it's not solid rock ice but also not too runny to be pure syrup. There is just enough strawberry flavoring to create the perfect harmony of strawberries and lemons (although I have to imagine that McDonald's isn't squeezing fresh lemons in the back of the restaurant).

For summer, it's a win, win, win. I just won't be sharing any with my daughter (who knows something might happen and I'll get grossed out and never want it again).

If you're still not convinced (how could you not be by now?) here's a $1 off coupon to try the Frozen Strawberry Lemonade at McDonald's - expires on 6/15/11.

Have you tried it? What did you think?

Mouth Orgasm

In 1885 milkshakes we're first invented. That was a good year (I obviousily wasn't there for their invention, however I must assume that the world was filled with joy from the new creation)

In 2004, Shake Shack was invented. That was a better year. Why? Because it's not a shake unless it comes from Shake Shack.

This past Tuesday I had the great adventure of going to NYC for 15 hours - in those 15 hours I needed to cram in some serious eating, and fortunately with the help of a local hermit (my sister-in-law) I was successful in my mission.

The line outside Shake Shack. Yea, it's serious

It was her idea to take me to Shake Shack  - a destination I had never heard of before. However the words "shake" and "shack" are very appealing to me so I wasn't too worried. We ended up at the location  Times Square location and found a line spilling out the door. We were at least 30-40 people deep in line. Here's a simple hint about restaurants (if there's a line, it's good).

Speaking of the line, once are place in line moved up enough to be inside the restaurant one of the Shack employees told me that on some summer days the line can go the entire way around the block. (WHAT!)

The menu at Shake Shack is simple: burgers, shakes, fries, shakes, and hot dogs. We both opted for the Shake Burger with American cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickle and "Shake Sauce" however, much more importantly we got the GREAT WHITE WAY Shake (I'll pause here for Hallelujah chorus).

After we finished ordering our food, they handed us a buzzer and we went and found a seat near a window overlooking the blistering cold and busy streets of NYC.

Our food was ready a few minutes later and I sprinted (ok, jogged lightly) to the front counter to pick it up. I almost tripped several times on the way back to our seats because I was too busy staring deeply into the beauty of the GREAT WHITE WAY shake.

Once back at our table the hermit (sister-in-law) and I both promptly ignored our Shake burgers and started digging in to the shake. It was thick like cement and so moments after attempting attack with an everyday straw I went back up front to get plastic shovels (spoons).

Here it is. Great White Way.

So - why is the GREAT WHITE WAY so amazing? Because it's made with: vanilla custard (score), crispy crunchies (like Rice Krispies) and most important, marshmallow sauce. All of those ingredients blended in to the thick, rich custard is what defines the shakes success. The marshmallow sauce, however was my favorite. It was like a smooth coating on top of the shake so it basically tastes like you're eating a really thick, marshamallow heavy Rice Krispies Treat shake.

As I indulged myself and took my taste buds into complete pleasure overload, one of my favorite songs came on (Bab O'Riley by the Who, here for your listening enjoyment). The magic of this song, combined with the taste sensation and awesomeness of the GREAT WHITE WAY took me into a mind warp of ecstasy that I never knew existed.

Once I came back down from planet pleasure we chowed down on our burgers and fries which we're also unbelievable (well the burger was fantastic, but the fries are better at Five Guys).

All in all it became clear to me why people wait in line for hours and hours at Shake Shack, its because they're craving a Mouth Orgasm.

It appears there is a Shack Shake in Miami. Road trip anyone?